bitchy
Some progress since last night.
1. Eddie is now John.
2. Dislikable characters, mixed tones and Americanisms all need some attention, so I
3. Haha, yep, biscuits. Who knew?
4. No RL here, I've concluded. No one thinks this is a good plan. And I don't think I'd cope. Ah, weight lifted :)

***

I just received a short but sweet e-mail from someone who was absent from Friday's seminar. A few choice quotes, to avoid repeating the whole thing:

 'I've read your creative writing piece and I loved it.'

Well I never. There's no predicting it. It's like X-factor evictions.
There's nothing amazingly constructive in the rest of the e-mail, just effusive praise and no signs of confusion.
I hated this person's submission. Grammatically eye-watering tragedy about Mary-Sues wandering the snowy French mountains and tripping over every so often. But she's nice enough in person.

'I have found no fault in this extract.'

Alright, so she didn't read it. Can't blame her.

.And the best one:

'I hope the session went well. Will see you soon.'

Oh my giddy aunt. I have to see these people again.
confused

Face the music and blog. Gulp.

Five weeks ago I embarked upon a Creative Writing module, having bypassed the *oh fuck this will emotionally drain me* stage to the *this is a piece of piss* level of calm. Having now submitted my piece, I'm back at *I'm draining, I'm DRAIIINNING* ***

Each week a member of the group submits their piece for group discussion. This Friday it was my turn. I'll say this fast: It did not go well. It went worse than any other person's submission. All of which went very well.

I'll admit, I shed a tear afterwards. In RL, I have't yet told anyone about this, which is a hell of a restraint for my fat gob, so subconciously I must be really upset about this.

Still, no use wallowing in self pity; the point is to achieve a good grade. As well as writing a piece of creative writing (about 2500-3000 words long for prose, although obviously this is only the roughest of guides. The idea is not to bore anyone. Which I did.) you submit an accompanying essay, talking about the piece's creation, inspiration etc. Mine is so far all about the radical rewriting I'm going to have to do.

I had initially thought to include the current draft of the piece every Sunday, but we'll omit the inclusion this week as my baby can't take any more attention in its current state. Next Sunday, rain or shine, a marginally shinier version will exist.
Over the next 6-10 days (a reasonable goal!) I will go through all the notes submitted by the group and the professor. Here's what they've turned up so far:

Fun facts:
Novel's current title: Crackers and Rappers
Piece's current title: Chapter Eight: All Over the Floor
Piece's current word count: 2402

Initial goals:
ONE:
  More than one person complained that the father and daughter Eddie and Ellie were named too similarly. I quite liked it as a feature. Is it really too confusing? Regardless, as a concedence to public opinion, one name will be changed. Ellie was originally 'Brighde' (unpronouncable) and Eddie was always Eddie (loosely based in my mind on Mr Izzard). What oh what should I call them?

TWO: The opening paragraph of a man with a hangover rushing to the toilet to vomit initially went down well. Then the group started complaining: too depressing; too out of sync with the comedic tone of the rest of the chapter; too short; too long; (and my favourite injry) 'we already know that he has only one sock on, don't tell us he has one off as well'. A pedantry point is ever I heard one. Still, that's going too. But should the whole submission be similar in tone, ie. humurous or serious? Can't I blend? How should I blend?

THREE: The first instance of Brit-picking I have ever encountered in Real Life: is it 'cookies' or 'biscuits' in the UK? Well it's blatantly a bastardization of both, and I preferred the sound of 'cookies' in this instance. But it's gonna become biscuits. And I may scrap it altogether. This is demoralizing.

FOUR: Dashes. Too many dashes. 'What are they for?' one person asked. I studied my piece. Well, they appear in dialogue to indicate a strained pause, I realized. But if that is not immediately apparaent to the reader than what <em>are </em>they for? I don't know.

FIVE:  Intentionally, none of the characters are particularly likeable. Though this was not said aloud, it's come up in notes. Especially Ellie: childish, having a tantrum, unreasonable, defensive. Apparently either she or her sister Rebecca have to be likable, as the fued is between them and the reader needs a favourite. Crap. I don't know how to write likeable people.

SIX:  And only one--ONE--count it--grammatical error. Wasn't even an error, it was a typo, a full stop got left at the start of speech after a sentence was scrapped. Very different to every other punctuation wasteland that has been submitted so far. But if I say things like that I can't make these posts available to RL people, can I? :)


Final point for today: I'm thinking very seriously if giving RL people, friends, members of the module group, anyone, the LINK to this blog, for comments and advice. Is this even remotely a good idea?


*** Question: do capitals cheapen dialogue? If used sparingly, ie. once per story?

drained
---or at least I hope.

This is difficult to explain, but briefly this is the situation: My parents have never been entirely happy since I was little and I hope this most recent split will be the one that ends in divorce. When they are apart they are simply happier. Neither have been on proper speaking terms for several years. My mum drinks and my dad has, I believe, sought comfort elsewhere, which I don't blame him for in the slightest. Of course neither one is understanding of why I cover for the other--my dad has now moved out, I don't know where, and my mum has fallen into a sort of slump, where she does nothing except cry and rave about what a cowardly liar my dad is.

I love them both very much and will do what I can to help them, but I have to go back to university this month and am very scared about what will happen in my absence. Adding to this, all their money is tied up in their property, which my mum is refusing to sell, and the property needs a lot of attention before winter sets in or it is in danger of collapse (it dates form the 1860s). No one is doing anything about this.
My name is on nothing and I have no rights to anything except the house I rent near my university, and for this I depended on my parents. I suppose what I'm asking is for some advice, suggestions I can put to my mum or dad, or any action I can take myself. I understand that they both need time to get through the raw period following a definite split but financially they don't have time. 

I am behaving sefishly but I do not want to give up my degree.

Following writing that, of course, mum's stumbled in with renewed humility, talking about fixing windows and getting a man friend in to do some electrics. I've gone since Friday night without even a hint of squeaky talk. It's like I've aged ten years. Fed up with shouting and crying, now I'm just ignoring them all.
hungry
I have one--count 'em: one--Dreamwidth invite code for whoever would like it.
First comment, first serve X
communist
I've indulged in a bit of lepidoptery this afternoon. For some reason, when I get hold of one of these dead things I get a little tense around the neck--not a huge reaction, just an itsy bitsy awareness that if this thing were alive, I'd probably flinch.

My subject was a bog standard Ghost Swift moth, as far as I can see, which makes sense as I'm in the countryside. Last species in the Hepialus family. It's gorgeous, like it's wearing a fur coat, all fluffy around its throat and wings draped out at the back. Eyes black--closed or dicoloured I'm not really sure.
Must. Get. Life.
big.damn.heroes

New Torchwood trailer! Nobody bother me for the next five evenings.

This is interesting: you read so much about a fandom from a fan's perspective that the first snippet of realworldly criticism gives you pause. Or at least it did me. The whole trilogy seemed to involve far less Barrowman than I expected but as was mentioned in another article (which I've now lost but was very good) scehduling for these three radio plays was a nightmare. My idea of hell, and I do it regularly.

G, Noir and I have been making a list of all the people our generation will live to see die. We drew the line at people we know, but it's been going since last night and we haven't yet run out of famous losses of the future.. Notable losses include Lee Pace, Hayao Miyazaki, Stephen Fry, Noel Fielding, David Tennant, Russell T. Davies and Patrick Wolf. I feel a little weepy at the thought.

And of course, we spent the whole night arguing about Michael Jackson over a curry, then over Disaronno and fags, then over tequila. G thinks she's a lightweight. In actual fact she's a spoilsport who's unreasonably terrified of her parents.
And of course mine fought like idiots over fish and chips. And dad did one of his walkouts. He's gone to the office today because his remote server won't work. So I'll be lucky to see him before Monday.

In DWM I read an article about Trock, or Time Lord Rock. I think I'm in love with this little Scotsman.

Just want to put a link to Spotlight here.

One last note: I think this is the last year I'll be in the job. It's been a hurtful, destructive road to the end and I think, in the long run, Howell is right. So at some point before October, I'll be following him and handing in my resignation to the Hangman. After that I'll no longer be bound by any contractual secrecy and my truth will be mine do what I will with it. I'll probably keep lying, though. Pathological and paranoid, that's me.
jack.come.to.daddy

(The Long Goodnight)


Chapter Two )
curious

Fandom: Robin Hood (New series)
Author: Schemer
Author's Notes: Spoilers! A small multi-chaptered fic, centered on Guy. Missing scenes between the end of S2 and the start of S3.
Author's Plea: If anyone could tell me any comms etc. where I could post this, I'd be really grateful :D
Disclaimer: I own a small GoG of action figure. That is all.


Lay Down
(The Long Goodnight)
Chapter One

The sun set over the Holy Land, bleeding its amber glow out to sea, and over the vessel that carried the Sheriff back to wetter, safer climes. Vasey watched the tide take him away, gnashing his teeth against the clotted mess of his failure. From below deck, the scraping, pacing and wailing of Gisborne was aggravatingly audible. The crew aboard deck stayed eerily silent, unable to raise the atmosphere above the tune of Gisborne’s grief. Vasey snarled at the sea spray, and paced.
 
The big booby had thrown himself headfirst into the abyss, there was little Vasey could do now but cultivate that darkness; nourish it as a new lifeline for Gisborne. Now that he’d gutted his last chance of deliverance.
 
A short distance from his foot, the wooden deck planks splintered upwards, providing a better outlet for the huffing and puffing of the big sad wolf below.
 
Spitting sharply, Vasey headed below deck, having had more than enough of this idiocy.
 
“Boatswain!” he roared. “Inform me if there’s any change.”
 
Once the Sheriff was down the ladder and out of earshot, the boatswain shrugged to the nearest deckhand and asked quizzically, “What sort of change is he expecting?”
..........
The iron crate that Guy heaved upwards above his head in an impotent fury lodged itself in the upper ceiling of the ship, splitting planks and spraying splinters. He dislodged the crate by pulling at its lopped handles, and the metal lump came crashing down above his head. He crumpled to his knees, the fingers of one hand smashed beneath the crate. He pulled again at the crate, attacking the situation so blindly that the weight on his digits doubled. Panting at the struggle and the pain he could only dimly register, he noticed light flood the wrecked cabin, and the Sheriff’s short, cloaked form stamp forward.He slammed the door shut, bolted it, and the room returned to its former grey.
“Get up you great waste!” the Sheriff shrieked.
Guy looked up, eyes hooded, not so much in defiance as discovery: another target. The two men locked gazes and the sheriff recognised some lingering shadows of treachery in his eyes. With a grimace he put out one well placed foot and rammed it into Gisborne’s face.
The man flung back heavily, his head cracking at the contact with the hull and his arm dislodging from the iron weight and falling to his side at an unnatural angle. He was out cold, and seemed grateful for it.
Vasey straightened his shoulders, his usual spirit returning for a moment. Curiously, Gisborne’s expression shifted from one if blank oblivion, to something vague, approaching fear, and misery. Uninterested, and happy for the peace, Vasey left the cabin.
...........
Guy stood by the bow after dusk, his hands tight around the railing. The Sheriff’s snores were the one noise disturbing his peace as they floated through the splintered deck.
“You should use a splint on those,” she reprimanded him brightly. He felt her warm hand on his cold one, gently ease his clench from the railing and examine the injuries. He looked at her calmly, holding a breath.
“They’ll heal,” he replied finally.
“But they might heal crookedly,” she argued. “Bandage them around small splints—this one…and this one. And don’t use them until they’ve fully healed.” She looked up at him expectantly, wheedling.
He looked down at the hand. His right hand, his sword hand. It was mottled purple and red. The knuckles were split and blood encrusted. The palm was cold.He looked up at her. He could feel the immeasurable distance between them though she stood right beside him, viewing the glittering ocean. There was empty space where she stood, stagnant air where she took in great salty lungfuls in relish.
“I was kept below deck for the journey here,” she told him. “I didn’t see it.”
“The sky?”
“The ocean. I’ve never seen it before.”
He watched her watch the water. “Is it how you thought it would be?”
She smiled blithely, answerless. Empty space.
An ache began in his forearm, the twisted arm being brought forcibly to his attention. He looked up, blinking blearily, and saw the cracked hole above him. Through it, he glimpsed one star burning, tiny and distant, and a swish of skirt flying in the wind. Whether white or blood red he didn’t decide.
.........................
Vasey came into the cabin later in a significantly better mood. He’d been plotting. His plans to regain power after this disaster were fresh and alive. He took off his fur and regarded Gisborne who was sitting on the opposite bed mat with his back to him.
“Take heart, Gisborne,” he said softly, undressing. “We have a head start on Hood, if he ever comes back at all, that is, and I can fantasise,” he groaned, tugging off one boot, “and on our return to England, we’ll have a day or so to catch our breath. And then we shall see how England’s fate is to be decided. And then we shall see.”
Greedily content with his optimism and his plots, he came up behind Gisborne, and stopped. Looking down over the unresponsive shoulder, he saw Guy obediently bandaging his broken fingers, slowly, with small, roughly fashioned splints.Vasey frowned with his lips pursed, then stepped backwards. He rolled his eyes, lay down on the thin mat, and did not comment.
 
destoru.you.doctor

5) The Keys of Marinus
Hartnell is so bumblingly cute.
jack.come.to.daddy


The fourth story of the first doctor is lost. These are the best recons I can find made by fans from telecaps, as well as a not-particularly-comprehensive-online-bibliography-of-sorts.

 

4) Marco Polo )
destoru.you.doctor

My mum bought me the 'Doctor Who '200 Golden Moments' Special Magazine Edition' mag :D
Here come the drums. )
1. 100,000 BC (aka An Unearthly Child)

P.S. Disney Films
P.P.S. DD365 Movies
P.P.P.S. Heroes S2</div>
sleepy

I have a lot to deal with. MUCH in the way business and busyness. SO why am I spending my hours worming my way out of a stupid ball like a military op??

There IS an op I would much prefer to get on with. )
bored

I must must MUST preserve these links. This could be the cure to the out of control 'Twilight' obsession. And I NEED a cure.
I'm reading Catherine Hardewicke's diary on the toilet, for the love of pigs. )
destoru.you.doctor


Or I'd be screwed. )
jack.come.to.daddy
HOLY CODFISH IT WORKED!
That is so cool....
confused
...is not working. Nada. Any thoughts, people?
contemplative

Following a good bit of advice from floridavegan, here is something to make this journal a little bit more digestible:

e_schemer
I'm a 19 year old full time university student with a full time job. I study English Literature and Film & Theatre. I'm a huge fangirl. This journal is a much needed outlet for all the things I don't want to talk about.
I've also recently discovered a love of cooking ftw o_O

The People
New Friends
TN - someone from whom I've learned exactly how to have fun. Based in London/five minutes from campus, depending on the time of year.
HB - best friend at uni,
PL - best friend at uni
CS - best friend at uni
MH - CS's girlfriend. Thinks she's moving in. She isn't. We get along.
DN - the newest addition to the house we (HB, PL, CS+MH ) are hoping to move into summer '09
GC - a friend who I wanted to live with but who has been diagnosed with anorexia and is putting the illness and her family first. I'm only allowing her year's sabbatical and then I want her back in the game.
PS - I want him to be my gay best friend but first he'll have to come out, then he'll have to invite me over to watch all his '24' boxsets.
PK - 'The Creative One'. Has a lot of principles. I don't know how much longer this friendship will last.

Old Friends
HR - current bitch
JL - current ex of bitch. Also: nerd
LG - fabulous
MK - good friend lost to the pressures of Cambridge
NN - idiosyncratically fabulous
RK- Bob - thoughtful, deep depressive with a working knowledge of EVERYTHING, I think.
DH - control-freak BFF who I should really talk to more often.
GH: This man disappeared for two years and was presumed dead. On the 17th May 2009 he showed up again and it is his fault I failed my Shakespeare exam the following morning. I am still reeling from the day in question so explanations will have to wait. He is also the only person I know in real life who reads what I post online. He thinks it's 'cute'.
WMJC - another one who disappeared and came back again. But she told me she was going to Australia, and she also told me when she was coming back.
WC - has run away to Australia. As well. Is happy. We skype.
ZM - In Korea, doing god know's what.
Svenska - ZM's baby sister. Also off to Korea soon.
Enemies
BN - a elderly woman I avoid at all costs.
WJ - old one I haven't seen in a long while and I don't imagine I ever will again.

Family

Mamma, Daddy, Grandma.
Uncle C and the Aunty of the moment: M (--my uncle has been married five times officially)
There are others too, but they are all exceptionally boring and I never talk to them, much less write about them.

The Others
MR - A new comrade, of sorts. Acts as my interface between the bosses and me. Very good man.

The Ex-s (I am very, very bad at relationships)
SA - primary school boyfriend. Cute as a button, and Australian too.
HH - first girlfriend.
HCH - HH's brother. Very bad move on my part.
HM - HH's other, eldest brother. After this they left the village and asked me not to contact them.
HS - Six years older than me, is now engaged. We're still friends, and it is weird.
W-HJ - a drunken one nighter in a barn. I would've liked this one to work out, he was funny. But I sucked his neck like a stick of rock and I think it was a turn-off XD
HO - W-HJ's creepy mate who was NN's first kiss. We don't talk now. 
MJ - the latest, the 'psycho'. My attempt at a normal uni boyfriend. A bum. He dropped out and is now working for Dairy Crest. I shudder in revulsion at the memories.
MS - a one night stand while I was going out with MJ. Everyone finds it hysterically funny and keeps adding her on facebook o_O
L? - another one nighter after smoking something. I do not remember much of what happened but I get a regular reminder--she's MH+CS's friend.
GH: Usual boy meets girl, boy marries older woman, lies about marriage and starts affair with girl, disappears for two years then turns up and picks up where he left off rom-com. Quite possibly the love of my life. Huge pain in the arse.
The Places
Cathedral City - spent two years here and expereinced some highs and lows. Did not exactly grow as a person.
Uni - current place of residence
The Estate - my inheritance, my home, the inanimate love of my life.
The House - Moving in July '09!!
 

TBC...
 

Profile

jack.come.to.daddy
E. Schemer

November 2009

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Layout Credit

Layout:
[personal profile] branchandroot
Page generated Feb. 9th, 2010 09:16 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios